Thursday, September 8, 2011

pese kamane k funny tareqe


Amir Ban Ne Ke 16 Tarike
Kya aap amir ban na chahte hain? Ye rahe Dhongibaba ke 16 zordaar upaay. Inhe apnaiye aur paison ke dher mein nahaiye.
1. Apne nazdik ke chaurahe par baithkar hamari bhavishyvani sunao aur karodo kamao, ek-ek se 501 rupiya lena. Dhanda apni jagah, yaari dosti apni jagah. Hamara hissa pura 20% hai, yaad rakhna. Gaddari karne ki bhool na kar baithna kyunki hamare dhongiwindows software mein sab ki khabar hoti hai.
2. Apna naam badal kar Mobilewale baba ya daphliwale baba ya aur koi baba rakh lo. Uske baad kisi bheed-bhaad waali jagah mein ghoomo. Jitne zyaada log tumhe dekhenge utna zyaada chadava tumhe prapt hoga. Chadave ka 10% hamara hoga.
3. Apne Account ke saare paise hamari dhongibaba co-op bank mein account khulva kar transfer kardo. Tumhara dhan ka chaar guna tumhe wapas milega. Is janam mein ya agle janam mein, chaar guna to mil hi jaayega.
4. Har mahine apni aamdani ke 10% hisse se dhongi bumper lottery kharido. Har lottery ke ant ke 3 ank ek samaan hone chahiye. Aur intezaar karo – 5-7 saalon mein tumhari bhi lottery niklegi.
5. Shaam/raat ko kisi bar ke paas khade hokar ande becha karo. Bahut se sharaabi tumhe sharaab ke nashe mein 2 rupaye ke badle 100-200 de jaayenge.
6. Raddi/Kabaad ikattha karke use becho. Duniya ki nazron mein us kabaad se kuch nahi aata. Laabh hi laabh hai bachha kabaad mein. Zara socho khud ko tum kabaad bechte hue kitne pyare dikhoge. Thode dinon mein kabaadi king kehlaoge.
7. Tumhare jitne bhi jaan pehchaan ke log hain sabhi se 1-1 rupiya maang lo. Yaad rakho boond-boond se hi ghada bharta hai. Aur sabse badi baat ki jab tum sabse 1 rupiya maagoge to use waapas koi nai maangega. Isiliye aaj se hi ek rupiya maangna shuru kar do.
8. Unlimited talktime wala phone lekar ek PCO khol lo. Fir kya hai, mahine ke ant mein jab tum iska munaafa dekhoge to ulte pair hamare ashram ki taraf mithai ka dabba lekar aaoge, ye vaada hai hamara.
9. Aajkal ke logon ko kuch kaam dhandha to hai nahi, isiliye to wo bewakoofon ki tarah taveez aur angoothiyon mein paisa kharch kiya karte hain. Jald hi mauke ka faayda uthakar ye dhandha apna lo. Hamari tasveer angoothi, taveez aur pendant mein daalkar bechna chalu karo. 25% hissa hamara hoga bachcha. Hamare ashram mein bhi to kharcha hai.
10. Apne kisi paise wale chacha ya mama ki khoob seva kiya karo. Taaki jab wo parlok sidharen to apni jaaydaad se thoda bahut to tumhe bhi de jaayen. Hindi picture nai dekhte kya tum – yahi to raasta hai.
11. Agar tumhare haathon mein khujli lage to bhoolkar bhi apne haath mat dhona. Yahi to nishani hai ki ab tum paise wale banoge. Par bachcha paisewale ban ne ke baad humein bhoolne ki bhool bhoolkar bhi na kar baithna, anyatha palbhar mein hi kangaal ho jaaoge.
12. Hamare kisi amir bhakt se shadi kar lo. Shadi se pehle to tum kuch kar na sake, lekin humein vishwas hai ki hamare amir bhakt se shaadi karte hi tumhare rahu-ketu sab theek ho jayenge.
13. TV par kisi ka swayamvar aaye to usmein hissa le lo. Ismein to bevakoof hone ka bhi bada fayda hai. Bahut pragati karoge bachha.
14. Lottery bechne ka kaam shuru kar do. Kaafi kamaai ka dhanda hai ye. Hamare kai saare bhakt har mahine karodon ki lottery khareedte hain. Hum unhe bol denge ki abse lottery sirf tumhari hi dukaan se khareeden. Apna pata humein sms kar dena 1-800-dhongibaba par. Hamara hissa hamare bachat khaate (saving a/c) mein dalva dena.
15. Aaj kal ke netaon se zyaada to koi bhi nahi kamata. Dekhte hi dekhte paisa aur taakat dono mutthi mein aa jaati hai. Tum bhi koi neta ke PA ban jaao aur phokat ka paisa khao.
16. Tum ek top level ke khabri ban jao. Har khabar yahan ki wahan karo aur jitna chahe utna kamao. Har khabar ka kam se kam hazaar rupiya lena. Hamari zaroorat pade to bejhijak keh dena. Hamare chele aayenge tumhari sahayta ke liye.
Agar tumne ye sabhi tarike padh liye hain to isse ek baat to siddh hoti hai, ki yadi swayam hum bhi tumhare saath saari zindagi gujaar dein to bhi tum amir nahi ban sakte. Ye sab padhne se achha hai ki kahin apne samay ka sahi upyog karo to 2 paise kamao. Chalo humein bhi paise kamane jaana hai ;-)

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